another sleepless night without you…

…not the Queensryche song (tho that is a good one)

I can just feel it in the bottom of my stomach that I won’t be sleeping well tonight. I’ve actually felt kind of down and like crying for a few days now. I get that way when I don’t quite know what to do or think about a situation. (Purposely being vague.) I know who the people are that I’d like to commisserate with and who of those I don’t want to be around. I know what it is I think I need and what it is I probably actually need. I know that I am already tired of being tired about being tired. So… what to do? I suppose I’ll do what I always do. In fact, the same thing I’ve been doing since I was a kid and nightmares kept me up. Though I won’t arrange the stuffed animals around me in a circle like an audience… yeah I don’t do that part anymore.  But I’m sure I will lay there either staring at the ceiling or with my face in the pillow talking myself to sleep.  Telling a little story of how if could or should or would be.  It doesn’t work so well as it used to.

What will it be then…. go back to the good old bad days when I used sit in some gawd-awful chat room until the wee hours?  Or stare at the ceiling and pray for peace??  Maybe I should have a poll and let me readers decide… lol.


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